Sharing one interesting QnA from Bawa.
Q:What are the qualities of a healthy romantic relationship?
Bawa: The first thing: for a healthy relationship, both people must be focused on something bigger than themselves. Your boyfriend or girlfriend can’t be your focus. If you’re focused on each other, the relationship breaks. The second thing: you need to give and take. Give generously and take graciously. If you only give and don’t take, the other person will feel obligated. Just look at romantic movies. When they are focused on each other they die in the end. Like Romeo and Juliet. But, in Indiana Jones, he was focused on getting the stone. There was a girl, but she was just there.
Q: Comment about attraction, desire and entanglement. How can we avoid entanglement?
Sri Sri: You are the source of energy. Attraction happens when the energy on you wakes up. It is just electro-magnetic energy. One energy manifests at various points in the body (the seven chakras) as different flavours, different colours. When attraction gets satisfied very quickly, then love does not blossom in life. When attraction is difficult to attain, it turns into love; and when that love matures, it becomes unconditional, it turns into dedication or devotion, the ultimate.
Love and longing go together. If there is no longing, if u kill the longing, then love also slowly dies way. How can you keep the longing alive? By being centered, by being in yourself. Do not get completely lost in the other person, this becomes too much for the other person as well. Getting lost in the other person is called entanglement. If two lines run parallel, with some goal ahead, they will always be parallel, but if they focus only on one another, they will meet, cross and go in opposite directions! So, with attraction, you come together, meet and then separate; but if there is a goal, then the attraction remains forever. That’s why, in life, your charm is never lost when are well-founded and centered, when your attention is on the knowledge.
Love has no completion… because it is infinity. Something which has no boundary also has no completion. Radha is the longing, and Krishna is the love. Sometimes, the longing brings pain. To avoid the pain, you try to fill your space with something, but that pain makes you deep.